Tennis Everyone?

I am playing tennis, in what appears to be a doubles match. It's quite fun to knock the ball back and forth although I have no clue if I'm winning or not.

For some reason, the other player on my side decides to come and stand next to me when I'm about to serve the ball. This is somewhat off putting and I keep missing my serve. After a few fluffed serves, he decides to stand in front of me meaning that if I do actually make the serve, the follow through will smash him on the back of the head with the racket.

I become increasingly frustrated about this and end up trying to shove him out the way before taking my serve. It's then I realise that he isn't in fact my playing partner, but one of the opposing players. It seems this is the new rule we are playing too - the opponents are allowed onto your side of the net to put you off your game.

I decide that I can probably still manage with one of them trying to put me off and line up for a serve again. It's then that all the officials, the umpire and the ball-boys/ball-girls decide they want to join in as well and I'm suddenly lost in a mini-mosh pit of tennis folk all bumping and jostling each other as I try to make the serve.

A. B. C.

I'm walking along a ridge over what looks like an old railway track. There is a rough gravel path surrounded by tall trees and thick, thorny looking bushes on either side of the path.

After a short while, I see a route down onto the track. Some crude steps have been cut into the bank leading down to it, but even with this, it's still a vertical drop down there. There are two blue ropes pinned into the earth either side of the drop, presumably put there to act as a hand hold on your way up and down.

I decide to go down and walk along the path. It's a bit scary scrabbling down the vertical drop, but I make it onto the path and carry on walking.

Suddenly something catches my eye in the bushes. A large, black form can be seen lurking in the undergrowth just up ahead of me, on the right. I stop and stare at it for a moment and it begins to move. I see the shape of a shoulder blade rise and fall in the slick, black form and my brain registers what is making that movement - a cat. A very, very large cat.

Somewhat alarmed, I turn and head back down the path to the steps cut into the side that I came down. I look back, but the black form has vanished, so I pause looking to see where it has gone.

Suddenly, about fifty metres or so down the path, two large black cats burst out of the hedgerow on the left and bounce around each other in the middle of the path. There is no doubt about it, they're big! Very big! My brain squeaks and tells me they're panthers and that leaving would be a good idea.

I begin to scramble back up the slope, to get away from these things just in case they decide to take an interest in me. My heart is racing with excitement and my brain is telling me that I've just seen an 'Alien Big Cat'.

Green Thumb

The plant on my desk is getting out of control. It seems to have gone on a mad growth spurt over the last few days and is spilling out of its pot in all directions. Leafy tendrils are making their way across my desk and threatening to envelop my monitor.

That isn't the real issue though. The real issue is that I'm apparently growing a particularly strong strain of cannabis on my desk. The little buds are sprouting out all over and there is a familiar, herb scent emanating from the thing.

This is naturally an unfortunate place to grow such a plant, even if it does seem to be doing rather well. I decide that I must hide it away so as to not incriminate myself so I scoop up its pot and make my way outside to stash it in the boot of my car till I can find a more suitable place for it.

Quite how I came to be growing this thing, I have no idea and even as I'm walking out with it, I have no clue how it got there. I don't remember planting any seeds or getting given a plant from someone.

But still, I have it and so, assuming it makes it home safely and continues to flourish, I might as well enjoy it. I return to my desk with the idea of installing a growing lamp in the boot of my car rattling around in my head. No-one would ever think to look there... would they?

I think this one stems from a plant growing in the office. It's apparently a Dorset Naga chili plant and that is rumoured to be the strongest chili in the world. Everyone is slightly frightened of it.

Festival

This one is very likely the result of me ordering a ticket to the Sonisphere festival last night. Something tells me that might be a little bit more 'rock and roll' than this dream, but Rammstein are headlining there. Sadly no clue who Cindy is however.

I'm wandering amongst the crowd at a music festival. The curious thing is that it seems to be indoors, inside a large auditorium. Despite there being quite a crowd, everyone is quiet and polite as they stand waiting for a band to appear on stage.

Some people who apparently know me, call me over to where they are stood and I make my way through the crowd towards them. Standing with them is a tall girl with bright blond hair, dyed pink at the ends. She is wearing a lime green jacket, cut-off jeans and black baseball boots. She looks a little bored and the people who called are shuffling sideways away from her as I arrive.

As I approach, they tell me they have to go somewhere else, but this girl, who is called Cindy, is totally into the band just like I am so we should hang out. With that, they turn and are consumed by the crowd leaving the two of us standing looking at each other.

After a moment or two, I suggest we should go move towards the front as we'd can still get up close to the stage. She nods, smiling and takes my hand leading me through the crowd towards the stage. We're able to walk right up to the stage - there are no barriers and no 'scrum' of people close by. We stand right at the front, resting our elbows on the stage.

There are people mulling about on stage, setting up microphone stands and plugging in instruments. I watch them for a bit, thinking they look vaguely familiar and then I recognise them as the band members of Rammstein. Somewhat starstruck, I'm lost for words, but Cindy calls out to them and they troop over to us for a quick chat before they play their show. They are very polite and tell us they've reserved us some seats right at the front so we can get the best view.

We thank them and turn to see row upon row of seats have appeared and people are gradually filling them up. In the middle, right at the front are two gigantic purple chairs, a bit like cinema seats (and indeed they have drinks and snacks stuffed into the arms!) and they are lit by strings of purple fairy lights all around them.

Cindy tugs on my arm towards the chairs but first insists that, because it's a festival and inevitably mucky, we should leave our shoes at the barriers so as not to muck up the chairs. Slightly baffled by this, I nod and agree and now shoeless, we scamper across to the chairs and bounce up into them and begin munching popcorn waiting for the show to start.

Destruction

Waves of brilliant orange and yellow flame roll across the land, obliterating everything in their path. It's as if the sea turned to fire and flooded the land.

I am in a car and the road before me rips and shatters, as if it were made of glass, the fragments exploding upwards in a fountain of colour. Cars and their passengers are tossed aside and pounded to nothingness in the wreckage. The land all around is ripped to pieces, buildings disintegrating and people screaming and dying at the chaos.

I drive on through it, quite, calm, happy. I knew this was coming and I knew this was right. It brings me peace. I am content in all the destruction.

(Folsom) prison blues

I'm in prison. I've been sentenced to four months for aggravated assault. What happened was that I was myself assaulted by a man, but I beat him up so badly that it wasn't considered self-defense anymore.

I'm doing alright in prison. I'm writing a new book, and working out. There's an annoying lack of internet. But I get to eat what I want.

Angry Cosplay

I'm walking through a crowd with a friend who is in costume. It's a costume I helped them make and it consists mostly of paint.

They are meant to be an alien and they are sporting a deep red colour scheme, merging with brilliant white on their chest and stomach. There are a multitude of shades blended into the red on their arms, legs and back, and it is dappled with pale grey spots. Upon their head they are wearing a very elaborate 'domed' hat that is also suitably blended with their colour scheme.

Having seen my work, another friend wants the same outfit making for them only they want their colours to be cream and pale purple.

Suddenly the crowds are gone and I'm walking alone along the road. Two men are walking in the opposite direction and one of them - a short, angry fellow in a green bomber jacket - bumps into me. He becomes angry at this and starts shouting and threatening me whilst his companion tries to calm him down. I do my best to ignore him and walk through the door of the hotel I'm staying at hoping he'll take the hint and stop harassing me.

He doesn't, and as I climb the stair case he runs after me, but this hotel isn't like any other hotel in the world. There are endless doorways that lead to endless rooms and unless you know how it works, you'll be lost forever. As he runs up the stairs after me, I nip through a small doorway on my left and I chuckle to myself that if he's stupid enough to follow, he'll be wandering in here forever.

The door I took opens to my apartment in the hotel where various friends are gathered, all enjoying polite conversation. The only problem with this is that there's a queue formed for the bathroom and ignoring the conversation, I sit and fidget, waiting my turn for the bathroom.