We are playing a friendly game of floorball, but we have no sticks so we use anything that looks useful. My club is a didgeridoo, large but light. I hope it won't be damaged in the game, because it looks like a good instrument and would be nice to keep.
It's not very easy to hit the ball with our makeshift sticks but our team is doing pretty well at first, with me scoring the first two goals! Soon the other team is starting to pick up, and we're losing advantage. Everybody's more or less an amateur here, but my teammates really suck at the game. Our team is disorganized and we keep losing the ball to the others. Some of our players don't even seem very interested in the game. I wonder, do they even know the rules? The other team has twice as many points as us now. They will surely win now, and even though I'm trying to get close to the ball, I can't.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
"The Glass Hinge Is Broken"
There is a crisis in the kitchen! The door of the freezer has fallen off and I am in a semi-panic as it is well stocked with food that is starting to defrost.
Kneeling in front of it, I try and work out just what has happened. For a start, the door appears to have shrunk to roughly two-thirds it's proper size. I naturally assume that this is a result of washing it too vigourously, and is nothing a bit of duct tape can't put right.
Of more pressing concern is the hinge, which attaches it to the rest of the fridge freezer. It's made of glass you see and the current one seems to have shattered, causing the door to fall off. I have a replacement, but the tritium core that it comes with is too powerful for a freezer and might cause the motor to burn out.
Someone is questioning the safety of using tritium near a food storage device. I point out to them that it's the only thing that will hold the door on, so we don't really have much choice.
Kneeling in front of it, I try and work out just what has happened. For a start, the door appears to have shrunk to roughly two-thirds it's proper size. I naturally assume that this is a result of washing it too vigourously, and is nothing a bit of duct tape can't put right.
Of more pressing concern is the hinge, which attaches it to the rest of the fridge freezer. It's made of glass you see and the current one seems to have shattered, causing the door to fall off. I have a replacement, but the tritium core that it comes with is too powerful for a freezer and might cause the motor to burn out.
Someone is questioning the safety of using tritium near a food storage device. I point out to them that it's the only thing that will hold the door on, so we don't really have much choice.
New Egypt
Egypt has become a new superpower. It all started when they elected a pharaoh - the first divine being to walk the earth in centuries. Vast mineral resources were found under Giza, giving an instant boost to the nation's wealth and technological development. Under the new pharaoh's rule, the Egyptian kingdom expanded to encompass the entire African continent.
The Egyptian trains weren't a success. They looked amazing: sleek, white shapes resembling larva, moving along the tracks in an undulation motion. Unfortunately that same motion tended to throw the last train car onto the others, like a scorpion's tail. Many casualties resulted.
I'm sitting on a crumbling set of stairs in a market somewhere in Cairo. The nation may be blossoming, but the market hasn't changed. There's an old woman sitting next to me. She is wearing belly-dancer clothing, her sagging stomach hanging out over the sequined skirt.
"You need to go to the upper levels", she says to me. "There is a ghost there that cannot rest."
I follow her advice, going upstairs. There's a transparent girl sitting on a balcony. She speaks to me. She was born in Prussia in the early 1800s. She hasn't been allowed to die, because her last owner started a tattoo on her that was never finished. She shows me the tattoo. It looks like a badly drawn Band-Aid. I can't help her, I tell her. She sighs. She looks sort of like Madonna in the Who's That Girl-era.
The Egyptian trains weren't a success. They looked amazing: sleek, white shapes resembling larva, moving along the tracks in an undulation motion. Unfortunately that same motion tended to throw the last train car onto the others, like a scorpion's tail. Many casualties resulted.
I'm sitting on a crumbling set of stairs in a market somewhere in Cairo. The nation may be blossoming, but the market hasn't changed. There's an old woman sitting next to me. She is wearing belly-dancer clothing, her sagging stomach hanging out over the sequined skirt.
"You need to go to the upper levels", she says to me. "There is a ghost there that cannot rest."
I follow her advice, going upstairs. There's a transparent girl sitting on a balcony. She speaks to me. She was born in Prussia in the early 1800s. She hasn't been allowed to die, because her last owner started a tattoo on her that was never finished. She shows me the tattoo. It looks like a badly drawn Band-Aid. I can't help her, I tell her. She sighs. She looks sort of like Madonna in the Who's That Girl-era.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The name of fire
Our country is being invaded by an enormous horde of goblin-like creatures. As they sweep in across the land, I discover the name of fire. I go into the midst of the enemy army, speaking the name of fire. It leaps out and devours the goblins and everything else. I find myself hiding in a barn until the fires are done raging outside. In the barn are a number of books lying on the floor. One of them has a bright cover with a clown on it. I know I mustn't open it, because it contains a different dream that will break through if I do - and I can't go on to the next until the goblins are all dead.
Salamander pipe
I'm standing at the edge of a swamp together with a traveling companion. We're somewhere in India. The jungle is verdant and steaming. My friend spots something in the water and wades out to pick it up. He holds it up.
"Look!" he says. "It's a salamander belly."
It's just like he says, the bottom half of a lizard made of dark green jade. A second later he picks up something else.
"Oh, look. Here's the top part."
He puts them together to form a salamander the length of his palm. Next, he bends down again.
"I found the mouthpiece!"
It's a thin tube that slides into the salamander's head.
"It's a pipe", he says. "There was a god here once, who made this pipe and got high while creating the swamp. Afterwards he or she must have just dropped it."
"I wonder what to fill the pipe with", I say.
"No idea", says my friend, sucking at the mouthpiece.
"Look!" he says. "It's a salamander belly."
It's just like he says, the bottom half of a lizard made of dark green jade. A second later he picks up something else.
"Oh, look. Here's the top part."
He puts them together to form a salamander the length of his palm. Next, he bends down again.
"I found the mouthpiece!"
It's a thin tube that slides into the salamander's head.
"It's a pipe", he says. "There was a god here once, who made this pipe and got high while creating the swamp. Afterwards he or she must have just dropped it."
"I wonder what to fill the pipe with", I say.
"No idea", says my friend, sucking at the mouthpiece.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Wise Guys
My dreams returned (in some style!) so thank you to whoever found them.
I'm on something of an urgent mission. Paulie (yes, the mob boss from 'Goodfellas') wants to watch a couple of shows on his new DVD player. Only trouble is no-one can find the particular ones he wants to see and what Paulie wants, Paulie gets or you're in trouble!
He's specifically after the episode about Saturn from the BBC series 'The Planets' but despite my best efforts most of the online retailers seem to have sold out. So it comes down to myself, Jimmy (Robert De Niro's character) and Tommy (Joe Pesci's famous psychopath) to find this episode of the show or face the consequences.
Our search is, however, fruitless and tempers begin to flare until I remember that I own this series on DVD. I gave it to my father to watch a few years back so, assuming he hasn't thrown it out or lost it, it should be there and all we need to do is go get it and everything will be good!
Sadly this solution doesn't seem enough for the agitated Tommy who pulls out his handgun and start blasting away whilst screaming to know if he amuses us! Luckily for me, I have a cricket bat to hand and am able to deflect the hail of bullets away. Or at least I am, until one bullet lodges into the face of my bat rendering it useless.
It's then the next one hits me in the neck and I topple to the floor feeling a bit silly. I lie there staring up at the clouds zipping past in the curiously coloured purple sky thinking that this is all a bit over the top for an episode of a TV show. Perhaps we should have just looked on iTunes from the start?
I'm on something of an urgent mission. Paulie (yes, the mob boss from 'Goodfellas') wants to watch a couple of shows on his new DVD player. Only trouble is no-one can find the particular ones he wants to see and what Paulie wants, Paulie gets or you're in trouble!
He's specifically after the episode about Saturn from the BBC series 'The Planets' but despite my best efforts most of the online retailers seem to have sold out. So it comes down to myself, Jimmy (Robert De Niro's character) and Tommy (Joe Pesci's famous psychopath) to find this episode of the show or face the consequences.
Our search is, however, fruitless and tempers begin to flare until I remember that I own this series on DVD. I gave it to my father to watch a few years back so, assuming he hasn't thrown it out or lost it, it should be there and all we need to do is go get it and everything will be good!
Sadly this solution doesn't seem enough for the agitated Tommy who pulls out his handgun and start blasting away whilst screaming to know if he amuses us! Luckily for me, I have a cricket bat to hand and am able to deflect the hail of bullets away. Or at least I am, until one bullet lodges into the face of my bat rendering it useless.
It's then the next one hits me in the neck and I topple to the floor feeling a bit silly. I lie there staring up at the clouds zipping past in the curiously coloured purple sky thinking that this is all a bit over the top for an episode of a TV show. Perhaps we should have just looked on iTunes from the start?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Missing
Under the onslaught of new medication, my dreams appear to have gone walk about.
If anyone should happen upon them, perhaps hiding in a dark corner of the room, or down the back of the sofa, can you please send them back to me?
I miss them.
If anyone should happen upon them, perhaps hiding in a dark corner of the room, or down the back of the sofa, can you please send them back to me?
I miss them.
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